Reality Recap

Please Stop

People I am sorry but I still can not get over that Blake and Holly are engaged. You know its bad when I hate Blake more then Kasey and Vienna. Michael is my boy and the fact that you two didnt tell him in unreasonable. I hope that they break up and Michael gets the last laugh. And Holly…you’re a dumb bitch for getting engaged to Blake!! Team Stag!!! 

No Bachelor Pad For Me

I had so many things going on tonight that I was not able to watch the bachelor pad or the reunion:( All I know is that I want Ella and Kirk to win. If that god damn Kasey and Vienna win…well, we will talk about that if that does happen. I will hopefully get to watch it in its entirety tomorrow so look back later in the week for a full recap of the episode and the reunion. Trust me when I say I’m sure I will have a lot to say!

HOLLY AND BLAKE ENGAGED

People magazine reported today that Holly and Blake from Bachelor Pad are engaged. Barf. Turns out a few days in the bachelor pad and one “great” date skiing can really help you find your true love. 

Im team Michael so you decide how I truly feel about this 

“Top Of The Mornin To You Boys!”-RW/RR Challenge Rivals Finale Part Two

Before I even begin I have to say this has been my favorite challenge. This challenge had all my favorite people, they did the most outrageous things, and the people who I wanted to win won! That almost never happens. 

So it starts off were they left off in the last episode. The ladies are out of their kayaks and are running. They stop when they find their pet rock which is literally a ball and chain that they have to carry through the entire day. Paula/Ev and Cara/Laurel see it right away, but with Jenn and Mandi its a whole other story. Mandi sprints right past it, and since Jenn is practically dying she sees it and picks it up. 

After each team has their boulder they had to trek it through the trail with them. They stopped at a camp site which they had to memorize. I give them a lot of credit because that was a lot of crap to memorize. After what seemed like seconds looking at it, they were off again. Leroy and Mike ended up dropping the boulder and it shattered giving mike the idea of distributing the weight. They quickly threw the pieces in a shirt and were off. 

After memorizing the camp site they then had to do the work of a mexican. Each team had to shovel dirt into a wagon, push the wagon to a box, where they then had to empty it. But it could not be done in one trip. During this time, we got to see just how bright Wes it. The asshole takes the broken parts of the boulder and sticks them in his socks. Kenny of course has a field day with this because he cant believe how stupid the kid is. I cant either Ken. Sure enough after about two steps he has cuts all over his ankles proving Kenny’s point of how stupid he is. Johnny Bananas and Tyler get through no problem. Paula almost has a break down, and Mandi gets a few blisters. Boo fricken hoo. 

After each team has completed the last check point they arrive to a campsite, except this camp site is not a campsite. Its a campsite filled with all the pieces to the puzzle that they have to recreate. Even I though the tent would at least be pitched. Paula and Ev do a really good job, but not good enough because they were sent back. You see that’s what happens if you get it wrong. They make you go all the way back to were the actual set up is. Which is probably a mile down the road. Laurel and Cara think they got it and can get ahead of Paula and Ev but they suck so they had to go back. Kenny and Wes arrive where Kenny simply says “Who the fuck goes camping?” Then Wes starts throwing up causing Kenny to say “Why the fuck are you throwing up?” This here proves my point of Wes is all talk. Sure Wes you carried Kenny in the jungle and maybe a few challenges, but when the real shit happens you cave causing Kenny to carry your ass…literally. 

Paula and Ev come back and get it right and they move on as well as Cara and Laurel. They then come to a feast where you cant leave anything on the table. Kenny and Wes arrive and Kenny states that “thank god Im Italian. I can eat all of this food any day. Twice on Sunday!” Kenny downs it all no problem, while Wes throws every piece up. Johnny and Tyler arrive and both of them have to problem. But then you have a nice montage of everyone throwing up. First Wes, then Tyler, a lot of Cara and Laurel, and a lot of Ev and Paula. Yummy!

Back on the trial Jenn and Mandi come to the campsite. Jenn at this point has given up, but feels the need to go on. They barely set it up at all and they are told to go back to where they started. Leroy and Mike get the campsite on the first try and head toward the feast. 

Cue the montage of them throwing up again! Leroy and Mike arrive and those two go to town. I love L/M because they never complain. Leroy is hysterical and Mike is the cutest thing alive. I really wanted them to win even though I know they had no chance. Paula and Ev finish the feast a little before Cara and Laurel. So now after they have eaten pounds of food, they are lucky enough to climb all the to the top of this mountain! 

Kenny pulls Wes out of the feast and they get their asses up the hill. Well Kenny does. Wes falls and starts screaming saying that “an alien is behind his knee.” Coming up next is probably the most humiliating thing that will ever happen to Wes in the history of challenges. Kenny Santucci, Mr. Beautiful, picks up Wes’s ginger ass and carries him up the mountain. “Well ladies and gentlemen, just when you though I couldn’t get anymore amazing.”

Back in La La land, Jenn and Mandi somehow get the tent put together. They were able to put all the pieces together for the campsite (that or the producers felt bad and let them go) and they were on their way. They didn’t get very far though. A producer came out and told them that since they didn’t reach the next check point and since it was getting dark they could no longer go on. They were DQed and no one really cared. 

Paula and Ev arrive at the top of the mountain looking for TJ, but instead they found the unexpected. They have to spend the night on this mountain. The rules are either both can stay awake, or one can try to fall asleep while the other stands on a rock. If you fall off the rock while your team mate is sleeping, you then have to go wake up your team mate and then you get to sleep while they go stand on a rock. 

Kenny, Wes, Johnny Bananas, Tyler, Cara, and Laurel all reach the top and spend the night. Everyone looks like absolute hell, even Mr. Beautiful. Needless to say no one gets any sleep. As the sun rises TJ appears and tells them that its time for part two of the final and its called search and rescue. Each team has to climb another mountain and once they get there they will find a tracking device. Once you have the device it helps you find a key. This key unlocks the statue that holds the big fat check! First person to unlock the statue wins. Ready….Well Leroy and Mike aren’t. Mike had a rough night and doesn’t think he can go on. Leroy of course understands and decides to not fight Mike on this one. They tell TJ and they are DQed. 

Ladies and Gentlemen I give you the final eight. Paula/Ev and Laurel/Cara have been neck and neck the entire challenge. And the same goes for the guys. At this point it was really any one’s game. The leading team only got a 2 minute head start. All teams got to their tracking devices at the same time. All of them frantically try to find that key. 

Tyler and Johnny find the key before Mr. Beautiful and the Ginger. They quickly get their asses up the last mountain and unlock the 100,000. Paula and Ev beat Cara and Laurel and Paula finally wins her very first challenge. 

All three teams learned a lot about their partner. Johnny and Tyler say they are like brothers, Paula and Ev know that they have a partner for life in these challenges, and Cara and Laurel finally accepted each other for who they are. Notice anyone missing? That would be Kenny and Wes. As soon as they reach the top of the mountain they start carrying on about why they came in second. Apparently they both suck at life according to one another. Like Kenny said, “The game is rivals.” Those two learned nothing from this experience and that is no surprise.  

In the end this was one hell of a season. The people who won I think deserved it the most and I can not wait for next season!! 

New Shows To Talk About

So during my mini vacation my friend introduced me to two new shows that I am now obsessed with. The first one is called Flipping out. Its about a guy named Jeff Lewis who is a designer in LA and he is fabulous. He has his boyfriend working for him and a maid who doesnt put up with his shit. Its on Tuesdays at 10 on Bravo. The second is…get ready for it….DANCE MOMS! As a former dancer I am totally obsessed with this show now. There is nothing I love more then middle age women acting like their 9 year old children. This is on Wednesdays at 10 on Lifetime. 

“Patagonia, Is That A Country or A Region” -Rivals Final Part One

I have yet to talk about one of my favorite MTV series. I have been watching this series for about seven years now and I have seen it all. I have seen Paula not win eight challenges, I have seen CT beat the crap out of Adam, I have seen Mandi and Jen fight, I have watched Johnny and Tyler since Key West in 2005, and good god I have seen every single Kenny and Wes fight. And there is nothing I love more then putting two people who hate each other together. And that is exactly what has happened on this challenge. 

This week starts off with CT and Adam getting ready to duel it out with Johnny Bananas and Tyler in the jungle. CT feels pretty confident and so he should. He took Johnny out for a walk in the park in a Cutthroat elimination. He has nothing to worry about. So since he has nothing to worry about he sits out on the patio smoking a cigarette and Laurel brings him out a plate full of fruit for breakfast. Ah, this is love. He thanks her and kisses her on the cheek and leaves. Yep, true love. 

Johnny and Tyler both want to win. Anyone going against CT wants to win. CT is a absolute beast. He dominates every situation he is put in. As Im watching it, I couldnt decided to to root for. I love Johnny and Tyler, but I feel CT has definately changed and I kinda wanted to see him win.

The object of the game was that each person is placed in a corner and they each have a different color ball. You have to pick up your ball and run it across to your partners ball holder and place your ball in the empty holder. It seemed easy enough, but dumbass monkey boy Adam screws it up costing CT and Adam time. I have to take a moment and point out the size difference between the two. Adam is literally a monkey boy compared to CT. Johnny and Tyler are racking up the balls while Adam is dropping his. Literally. CT decided to buy them some time and does what CT does best. Hit people. He plowed Tyler which was the nastiest hit I have seen all season long. Sure enough after Tyler got hit they were both neck and neck. It finally came down to the final ball. After a slow motion montage of both of them struggling to get that ball in place, and CT dragging Adam through the mud, Johnny and Tyler win it. It was the biggest upset in challenge history. After the loss everyone was excited beside CTs twin sister Laurel who was basically crying on the sidelines. But she was not crying as bad as Adam. His dream girl Jen comforted him the best she could, which was shoving her boobs in his face. I totally ship Jen and Adam though. I think they are adorable and I want them to last. In the end Adam and CT both talked about how this challenge has changed them. Adam forgives CT for things that have happened in the past and he hopes that CT can forgive him as well. Like or not you guys, CT is a changed guy. He played the game right this time and I give him props for that. Although I did want to see him fight Johnny and Wes on more then one occasion. A girl can still hope for next season! 

With the house in good spirits since the Monster was sent home, everyone is very excited for the final. Besides Laurel and Cara. These two piss me off so much. Cara is the weirdest person in challenge history, and Laurel is just Laurel. I did love the Abram pillow though. Weird, but I dont expect anything less from Cara Maria.  

Soon enough my favorite person on the challenges, Kenny Santucci, graces everyone with his pretense. After about two or three “holy shits” he tells everyone that they are packing their bags and going to Patagonia for their final challenge. Kenny, or Mr. Beautiful, screams in excitement “PATAGONIA?! IS THAT A COUNTRY OR A REGION!” Oh Kenny…you’re so pretty.

After they land the Rivals are put in a gorgeous house on the water in Patagonia. It overlooks lakes, rivers, and mountains. But a beautiful place doesn’t mean drama is put on the back burner. Mandi, Cara, and Laurel have a nice conversation about Wes. Cara tells the girls, “if someone is not nice to me, Im not nice to them.” Mandi then tells her that she has the mentality of a 11 year old. Cara comes back with, “yeah well look who you are f**king!” Very nicely played Cara. I give you a 10! 

Since the challenge houses have no walls, you can hear everything everyone is saying about you. Even if you are all the way on the other side of the house! Wes holds court in the living room trying to get everyone to talk about Cara Maria. What else is there to talk about? Its usually Kenny but Kenny is his partner. Wes needs a new topic of conversation to start with people and Cara Maria happens to be in Wes’s line of fire. “Am I the only one who thinks she is fake and immature?” He is literally a broken record. 

Wes tells her that all she talks about is “Abe or her horse or her horse and Abe.” Wes is the biggest ass on the show and he picks on everyone. Wes knows how to break people down and he broke Cara down that one night. But she came back swigging and made Wes look like the asshole that he is. Im starting to like Cara more and more, but a part of me still cant stand her. Lets take a minute to look at Kenny Maria….makes me laugh every time!!

The next morning Tyler and Jen wake up with food poisoning. The medic tells them that its not a good idea to compete, but there is 100,000 dollars at steak here people. There is no way that Tyler and Jen are not going to compete. 

Once they arrive at the final challenge TJ tells them that this is the hardest course he has ever seen. That is just what Tyler and Jen need! The women start off first. Their goal is to hold onto this bar that drags them underwater for as long as possible. If they let go they have to swim the rest of the way to their kayak. Paula and Ev (who I want to win so bad!) have no problem with this and are on their way. Surprisingly Laurel and Cara Maria are right behind them and Jen and Mandi…well…they are making a whirlpool in the middle of the lake. 

The men are right after then women and take right off. Once they all finish the three mile kayak, its a foot race the rest of the way! Im very excited to see the outcome of this challenge. I want Paula and Ev to win for the girls because I honestly cant stand the rest of them. And I want Johnny and Tyler to win it for the guys because I think they have worked the hardest on this challenge! 

Where Are All The Recaps???

Hi everyone. Sorry that I left you haning high and dry on these TV Show recaps. I have been super busy and have not had enough time to write them. But tonight Im going to catch up on all the shows and have all of them waiting for you! 

Happy Kim Kardashian Wedding Day….give me a break with that family already! Who cares!

-Lauren